Conscious Monogamy & Community: 3 Patterns That Erode Intimacy + How to Heal Them

What does it look like to engage with community in a conscious monogamous relationship—and why do so many couples slowly become isolated, enmeshed, or controlling over time?

In this episode of the Conscious Monogamy series, relationship coach Forest Williams breaks down one of the most overlooked dynamics in long-term relationships: how couples relate to other people.

He walks through 3 common unconscious patterns couples fall into and 3 antidotes that create trust, sovereignty, and real connection.

You’ll learn the difference between unconscious monogamy (control, enmeshment, and isolation) and conscious monogamy (sovereignty, trust, and interdependence).

If you want a relationship that feels secure and expansive, this episode will show you how to navigate jealousy without control, maintain your individuality without creating distance, and build a support system that strengthens your bond instead of threatening it.

Perfect for couples who want to grow together without losing themselves—and are ready to create a relationship that actually works in the real world.

CHAPTERS

00:00 – What Is Conscious Monogamy?

Defining conscious vs. unconscious monogamy and why most couples default into patterns that quietly erode connection over time.

03:15 – Why Monogamy Often Leads to Disconnection

How societal conditioning promotes control, insecurity, and emotional drift—and why intentionality is required for long-term intimacy.

07:40 – Pattern #1: Jealousy & Control

How insecurity leads to restricting your partner’s autonomy, and why control ultimately destroys trust and creates resentment.

15:20 – Antidote #1: Processing Jealousy & Building Trust

Turning jealousy into self-awareness through emotional processing, shadow work, and clear communication of needs without control.

23:10 – Pattern #2: Social Enmeshment

Why always socializing as a couple leads to loss of individuality, reduced attraction, and weakened connection.

28:45 – Antidote #2: Sovereignty & Individuality

How maintaining separate friendships and experiences strengthens intimacy, trust, and long-term desire.

34:30 – Pattern #3: Isolation from Community

The “us vs. the world” dynamic and how over-relying on your partner creates pressure and disconnection.

40:10 – Antidote #3: Interdependence & Community Support

Expanding beyond the couple to build a supportive network that increases resilience, connection, and relational health.

47:20 – Designing Your Relationship on Purpose

Reflection questions to help couples consciously decide how they engage socially—together and independently.

52:00 – Final Takeaways: From Control to Trust

The core shift from unconscious patterns (control, enmeshment, isolation) to conscious relating (sovereignty, trust, community).

Welcome back to the Conscious Monogamy Series.Today, we're gonna be looking at what does it look like to actually consciously engage in community or social dynamics in a monogamous relationship, and to be honest with you, a lot of these concepts can also apply to really just anyone in a primary partnership who's living together.But I wanna look at monogamy because I don't hear a lot of people talking about conscious monogamy.When you're doing non-monogamy, you kind of have to do it, to some degree, outside of the box that was kinda given to you.But with monogamy, it's so easy to fall into that little, uh, mold that society lays out for you, but also inevitably leads to disconnection.It's kind of a crazy, a crazy time on Earth when the default paradigm is a paradigm of disconnection, right?And so if you care about lifelong relationship, you have to really consciouslyIt is essential, because any time you're kind of unconsciously drifting into the mainstream, it's not gonna go well.I hate to say it, but it's true.So I'm gonna share with you 3 characteristics of the mainstream paradigm, the unconscious monogamous way of engaging in relationship, and then we're gonna look at the other side of the equation.So what are 3 conscious ways to engage with the community, engage in social dynamics as a monogamous couple?So let's get into it.If you're deeply committed to your relationship, but keep getting pulled into the same reactive loops that feel disconnecting, you're not alone.I'm Forrest Williams, certified relationship coach, and I guide devoted couples to untangle the unconscious dynamics that get in the way of intimacy, and quietly erode connection over time.Here, we explore conscious relating as a spiritual practice, where your relationship becomes a sanctuary for healing, growth, and a steady source of joy instead of struggle.Let's start by defining what is conscious monogamy, and this'll just be a brief recap because I already covered this in the first one, but if you're joining right now, you don't have to listen to these in order.It's totally fine.The idea with conscious monogamy is that it's authentic.It is what is true to you, what is true to your partner, and what is true to the 2 of you as a couple, because the default way, it is a paradigm of enmeshment, codependency.There's a lot of control sprinkled in there.That's the mainstream norm, and we- we'll call it the unconscious way, unconscious monogamy.And so conscious monogamy is all about actually very explicitly deciding what is true for you, and honestly, it's not so much deciding what's true for you.It's distinguishing, okay, this is the programming I got indoctrinated in, and this is my actual truth.So it's more of you actually just tuning into yourself and letting the truth come to the surface, and your relationship is gonna look different than any other relationship you know, because all relationships are unique.There is no way to commodify it, even though the mainstream tries to.And why is this important?Well, if you just do the thing that society kinda lays out for you, that little formula of this is what it means to be in a relationship, and this is what it looks like, it's gonna make the relationship wobbly.It's gonna be less resilient over time, and it will very quietly erode the relationship, honestly.You might still be together at the finish line, but you might be having a really hard time.You might feel way more disconnected than if you were doing things consciously and doing things according to your truth, not just trying to cram yourself into the societal mold.So let's look at what does it look like to slip into the default, unconscious norm that leads to disconnection in the context of engaging community as a couple, and then we'll look at the other side of it too.What does it look like to engage in the community in a very conscious way?So for context, I have history of monogamy and non-monogamy, and I've held space for all kinds of clients and all kinds of formats of relationship, and this is what I notice, okay?These are just my, my own observations.Take 'em or leave 'em.There might be something I'm missing.Let me know in the comments.If you're like, "Yeah, you're missing something," totally open to that.Um, and I'm just sharing 3 things with you.I'm sure we could come up with a huge list, but let's just keep it simple.It's a good starting place.So the thread here that all 3 of these things have in common is a theme of jealousy and control.What I notice is, let's talk about unconscious monogamy, the default, mainstream paradigm, is that most monogamous couples actually don't feel secure in their own relationship, and as a result, you'll see them limiting who they can have contact with.There's this idea of control, because let's give one example.In the mainstream world, which I am very far removed from, there's this idea of, like, "Oh, you can't be friends with the opposite sex.That's not a real thing.That's impossible."Hmm, disagree.But we're talking about unconscious norms, so, you know, that is a paradigm that many people believe in, and so maybe your partner is saying, "Who is this male friend that you're close with?I don't like that.You're not allowed to hang out with Joe anymore," or whatever.Unconscious paradigm, where your partner is perceiving a threat in the relationship."Well, what if you and Joe start something romantic?"Right?Assuming it's a straight relationship, or maybe same sex.I don't know, maybe it's your partner's a guy, and you're a guy.It doesn't really matter.But the idea is that your partner is feeling threatened by a friendship that you have, and they're like, "Well, what if this friendship will escalate into something romantic?What if you leave me?"That's what it always comes down to.And as long as you're coming from that place, where you're not feeling secure, and you're relating to that not feeling secure unconsciously, you're gonna exert control.You're gonna use some veto power, and you're gonna tell your partner who they can and cannot hang out with, which is a recipe for disaster.Doesn't create the opportunity to build trust, and it inevitably leads to resentment over time, because a core tenant of conscious relating, really, conscious monogamy, in this context, is maintaining sovereignty in the relationship.Like, yes, you are in a partnership, and you are a team, and you can talk through things, and you can decide things together, but not at the expense of losing yourself.That's key.So, on the flip side, in conscious relating, um, when you're feeling insecure in the relationship, maybe some jealousy comes up.I know for me, there's this one person in particular who my partner, um, hangs out with sometimes, where I'm just, like, actually super jealous.Honestly, like, everybody gets jealous.It's a natural emotion, right?But the key is, how do you show up to the jealousy?Do you go unconscious and you say, "No, you're not allowed to hang out with this person," you control your partner?Or do you reflect, do some shadow work around the jealousy?Hmm.What is this actually bringing up for me?What am I actually afraid of here?More often than not, you could say, "Oh, I'm afraid you're gonna leave me.Uh, I'm feeling threatened."But what about it, though?A big part of this reflection process is actually having the ability and the skill to be with your emotions, which is also very countercultural.It's also a tenant of conscious relating, is self-reflection, self-attunement, emotional awareness, your ability to sit in the discomfort of the body sensations that come up.And if that's something you're wanting support with, I have lots of classes and workshops and all kinds of things that involve somatic processing, like actually helping you feel your feelings and understand what it means and actually how to move forward from it.So, check out my website.Go to the Events tab, see what's coming up, ConsciousRelating.org.There's a link in the description below.Anyways, half the battle is acknowledging you're jealous."Oh, I'm feeling emotional.Oof."The second part is taking the space and the time to feel the feelings, because that's the only way you're gonna get answers.And you might not understand right away what the tension in your chest means, or maybe, uh, you're feeling jittery in your arms, or maybe your throat is swelling up.You're like, "Whoa, I'm so jealous."Or you might even get hot in the cheeks.It's kind of different for everyone, depends on the situation and the person.You're not always gonna know right away, like, "Oh, this is why I'm jealous.This is what's going on," but it starts with that curious inquiry.Can you be with what is present so that you can later make sense of it?But if you can't even be with what's here, you can't open the door to understand what's going on.You have to start by opening the door before you walk through it.So, you allow your feelings to flow, and then you maybe do some journaling, maybe you talk it out with a friend or a therapist, or even, like, for me personally, sometimes I leave voice messages to myself, and I listen to 'em, and it really helps me process.Or even, like, videotape myself if I'm not feeling like journaling, and then I, like, delete it afterwards.But I'll, like, watch it back, and then I can really understand, like, "Oh, that's what's going on," you know?So, there's a million ways to be with what's coming up and to reflect on it, but that's the idea.You just wanna understand what's coming up and where is it coming from.More often than not, it stems from something in the past, some kind of insecurity that's actually not in present time, but it's a fear that you don't want to happen again, maybe a, a pain that you experienced in the past.The next piece I would recommend is get really clear on, what is the fear?What is the specific scenario?Is it that your partner's gonna lose interest in you, or is it thatMaybe it's like an ex, right?Your f- your partner is still friends with an ex, which, by the way, would never in a million years happen in the mainstream paradigm with unconscious monogamy.But in conscious monogamy, that very well can happen, because your partner is an autonomous person, and if you trust them, they can hang out with whoever they want to.But if your partner's hanging out with an ex, the fear might be different.It's like, "Well, what if you fall back into sexual chemistry, even if you don't act on it?I just don't wanna feel like, um, like I'm being disrespected."Like, you're engaging in the space where you're indulging in that energy.Maybe you're not physically touching, but maybe in a way, it feels like a betrayal.If you're like, "Well, I know you have sexual chemistry with this person, and I know you're probably gonna flirt together," and whatever, you know?Maybe it just feels unsettling, right?Maybe the fear isn't like, "Oh, I don't think you're gonna leave me or cheat on me, I just, I don't feel great about you engaging in that sexual chemistry with someone else, even if you're not acting on it."Right?So, it's gonna be different according to the scenario and the person, but that's where you wanna get to, is like, what are you afraid might actually happen?And then the thing you bring to your partner, you can share the fear, but really, you wanna share, what do you need underneath that?Do you need some reassurance?And by the way, your need has nothing to do with controlling the other person.It has everything to do with you, and like, what do you need to feel secure in the relationship?Maybe you make an agreement together, like maybe, for example, you can clarify the, the parameters of your relationship.What qualifies as cheating and, and what doesn't?Does hanging out with someone who you have sexual chemistry with, even though you're not acting on it, does that qualify as cheating?You know, that could be a need, is just to create a clear parameter for the relationship.But what's important here, and what doesn't make it control, is that it's a mutual agreement.So, the need is gonna look different according to every scenario.That's just one example.But that's the idea.You wanna pause, reflect, feel your feelings, understand, what am I afraid might happen, and what does that fear need?Maybe you can meet some of that need.Maybe it's you like self-soothing and self-regulating, you communicating with your partner in a conscious way, saying, "Hey, I'm afraid and I have a need."That's part of a need that you can meet for yourself.But then, there's this collaboration where you're like, "Hey, I'm feeling tender.Can you meet me in my tenderness?"You know, that's the whole idea.So, you're naming a need and you can both collaborate on, "Well, what would it look like to meet that need?"So, I wanna draw the line here between the idea of control, where you're demanding something.You're like, "This is what I need and you must do it in this way, at this moment."That's not really collaborative, and so that drifts into the paradigm of control.It gets a little shadowy.The whole idea here is that you're communicating and you're collaborating.You're being vulnerable in your emotions, and in a conscious relationship, your partner will hold you in that vulnerability.They don't need to be responsible for your feeling, but if they care about you, if they love you, they're gonna care about how you're feeling, right?And they're gonna emotionally attune to you, and the 2 of you can figure it out together, "How do we facilitate security in this relationship without control?"That's conscious relating, and it's very counter-cultural, because it requires relationship skill.And the mainstream paradigm is a world where war is the norm, right?And so, all these unconscious war energy is like, seeping into relationship without you even realizing it, right?And that's where that control comes in.It's like a war paradigm.A lot of control in, in war, right?So, the idea is to do something not mainstream, because that doesn't work, and that does require skill, but you can learn these skills.That's a nice thing about conscious relating.It's very possible.Just takes some practice, and that doesn't have to be perfect.It's a process.So, that's the first thing, is when you get jealous, you control your partner and you say, "No, you can't hang out with this person."And, um, you know, that just feeds more insecurity, because the way that you actually start to feel secure is by giving your partner autonomy, honoring their sovereignty, allowing them to be an individual person with their, with their own friendships, right?Like, you don't control who your partner socializes with.And then every time they come back to you, that is a thing that deepens trust, right?Because in a conscious partnership, you're choosing each other every day.You're choosing each other over and over and over again.You're not together because the relationship is being duct-taped together by control and limitation.Like, if you don't have the trust to let your partner socialize on their own terms, then that's also not gonna build trust in your relationship, whereas if you're feeling jealous regardless, and you say, "Okay, I feel that urge to control because I'm jealous and I'm afraid, but I'm gonna reflect, do some shadow work, understand what I'm afraid of, communicate what I'm needing," that is how you build trust and how you build securityEven withthe jealousy being present.Do you see the difference here?So that's the first piece.It's exerting control, saying, "No, you can't hang out with this person because you're jealous and you're insecure," which just feeds more insecurity.And erodes your relationship over time, because resentment slowly will kill your relationship.The second characteristic of engaging in community from a paradigm of unconscious monogamy is where you primarily socialize together.So, maybe it's not 100% entirely, but maybe it's like 90, 95.It's getting pretty high up there.What I see, and this is just a s- societal phenomenon, you know.I don't think it's anyone's fault.It's just, if you're asleep and you're on your default programming, you're not waking up and being conscious, you're just falling into the societal norm, which is you kind of seclude yourself into the nuclear family structure.You and your partner live together, and you primarily only socialize with each other.Like, the bulk of the socializing in your life happens in your home.And then, yeah, you go out, you have mutual friends, but you're still socializing together.Like, you're never really, like, doing things on your own.You're kind of relating as a unit or as one entity, rather than 2 sovereign people within a partnership.Does that make sense?In contrast, in a conscious monogamy paradigm, you can socialize together.That's natural, right?'Cause you're choosing each other.You're building a life together.What can you do, right?And you're naturally gonna have mutual friends, but you're consciously choosing how much overlap is there between communities.And like, maybe the preference is different for everyone, but it is really important to maintain your sense of self, to maintain sovereignty in the relationship, and a big way of doing that is having a life outside of each other as well.So it's not that you're keeping secrets from each other.It just means you're not 100% enmeshed, because that is also a recipe for disaster.In the previous episode, I talk about how enmeshment can really kill your sexual chemistry.I'm not gonna repeat that now, but if you wanna know more, you can listen to the first one.And actually, I'm gonna be making an episode upcoming about sex.Like, how does unconscious monogamy manifest in the context of sex, and then what does conscious monogamy look like in the context of sex?So, if you wanna follow this series, make sure to subscribe and click the bell for notifications so you can stay in the loop, because I'm gonna continue on this thread and posting various themes about conscious monogamy.So, the second thing is that you primarily socialize together, and it's that enmeshment, right?Like, you don't have a sense of self in your social life.It's the 2 of you as a couple have a social life, and so you lose your sense of self.That's the unconscious paradigm.In a conscious paradigm, there's trust and there's sovereignty.And so within that trust and that sovereignty, you have the freedom to have individuality within the relationship, to have friends that are just your friends.Doesn't mean they're not allowed to meet your partner or they're never gonna meet your partner.It doesn't have to be extreme like that.It just means that you have a life outside of your partner.Your partner is not your entire world.They can still be at the center of your world without making your entire world be them.Do you know what I mean?You're not losing your sense of self in your partner.You can maintain your sense of self, and your partner can maintain a sense of self.It's really good for your sex life.Okay, and the third characteristic of engaging community from a place of unconscious monogamy is that you really primarily only spend time together, which I've kind of already said a little bit, but what I wanna emphasize here is this sense of hyper-dependence on each other.We could call this co-dependence, which is a primary tenet of unconscious monogamy.But what I'm pointing to here is this sense of isolation from community in general, which is a U.S. norm.I wonderI know in the U.S. it's pretty bad.Like, the sense of isolation, you can see it in the way society is structured.You have to have a car to drive everywhere.If you look at suburban kind of layouts, it's designed to be all divided and separate.Whereas, when I was living in Latin America, the infrastructure is way more community-oriented.It's way more walkable.Depends on where you are, I'm sure.Um, I know Europe is like that as well.There's places I haven't been to, I don't know what it's like, but I know in the U.S., the infrastructure is pretty bad.Like, you feel fucking isolated, because society's designed to isolate you.So, you know, it's- it's hard to go against the mainstream when the infrastructure is going against you.But what we're doing here is looking at, what does it look like to relate consciously?What does it look like to relate unconsciously?And there's no shame in this.It's so common because you just fall into it, because you live in an infrastructure that encourages it.But we're still gonna look at the difference, because it still applies.It's conscious and it's unconscious, right?So this third characteristic is actually just being isolated from community.So instead of interdependence, it's an emphasis on, let's say, hyper-dependence between you and your partner.Co-dependency.And you know, society is kind of, um, designed to just have you live with your nuclear family.And so that is a big part of it.So something that would be really counter-cultural is living in community, living in village.And I know it's not always accessible for people financially, or maybe you don't have the network or something, but what I do know is literally every single person I talk to has the same dream of living on the land in community together.Because that's actually ancestral, and it's really healthy.I don't mean to say healthy as like a judgment, but I mean healthy as in, it's aligned with human nature.It's- that's how we're designed as humans.We are very social creatures, and we find safety in community, you know?So that would be the counter-cultural thing.And, you know, I'm not there yet, right?But I have that vision, and I- I hope to get there eventually.Um, but in lieu of that, it could be also like living close to friends or living close to family, even if you're not next door neighbors, like within the same neighborhood or at least a 5minute drive or something, and there's a lot of back and forth.I have this, um, memory of being in, what was it, like elementary, middle school?And my friend, who I was the closest with at the time, she kind of had like a open-door policy in her home, which I thought was so cool.It was kind of the opposite of how my home was.I really had to like beg to have friends over.I wasn't really allowed to that often.But my one friend, like the whole neighborhood would hang out at her house.And there was always like snacks on the table and stuff, and they weren't wealthy.They were just like very community-minded, you know?And that was so cool.So I think of that as like this open-door policy, where it's the energy of community, even if it's a nuclear family home, you know?But it's like the energy of, how much are you interacting with the community?When you're sick, your partner, of course, is gonna care for you, because they are- are in the most proximity, and they are the most committed to you specifically.You- you have this conscious partnership of like, "Hey, let's commit to each other and be there for each other."But also, like how much are you allowing community to pour into you in those moments?I've had moments where I'm sick and I have friends from all different neighborhoods, same city of course, like stop by and drop me off soup or, you know, drop me offI don't know.Like one time I was menstruating and then, umWell, this was my partner, so, but it's still a good example.Um, this was when we were long distance and my partner, um, had somebody deliver to my apartment a hot water bottle to like soothe my womb, like put some heat on my womb.That was so nice.But that's the idea, right?It's like, how much do you allow the community to pour into you?How much do you allow yourself to receive from the community?And then, of course, giving as well.There's been many times whereI'm a good cook, okay?So I have been known to leave my friends some, like, really nourishing, like, miso ginger soup when they're not well.Like, I know what to put in that soup to make it medicine, you know?I actually, it's a huge love language for me, sharing food.I really like that.But that's the idea, right?It's like, it's the idea of interdependence, giving and receiving on a larger scale than just you and your partner.And this could look all kinds of ways.Maybe it's like having a potluck every Friday.Everyone comes to your house, or you go to someone's house, or you go to the park or whatever, you know?I was visiting this little eco village for, like, a couple weeks, and every Friday they had potlucks.It was so cool.It was very community oriented, like such a good vibe, you know?But, you know, that was a monogamous couple who was hosting that, soThe idea is, are you only allowing you and your partner to support each other, or is your support network expanded beyond just you and your partner, right?'Cause that isThe difference between actually being resilient and being part of the future, what we're calling in, like, beyond capitalism.there's a reason why the housing structures are designed to be nuclear family structured and everything so isolated.It's because it's profitable, man.Like, the 1% are really profiting off of our isolation, 'cause we have to pay to fill in all the gaps.We're feeling chronically under-resourced.But when you're able to expand your support network beyond just you and your nuclear partner, ooh-wee.It's so abundant, you know?It's so much more in balance.And it's very conscious.It helps the relationship because it takes some stress off the relationship.Like, you don't have to hold all that onSo, that's the third thing.It's interdependence with the community rather than falling into that rut of hyper-isolation, let's call it, or hyper-codependence, only relying on each other and not leaning enough on the community, or not even pouring into the community enough.So, I wanna leave you with a couple reflection questions for you and your partner to sit with together, 'cause half of conscious relating is actually making a conscious agreement.'Cause if you're not making a conscious agreement, what you're doing is you're defaulting to an assumption or an expectation, and where do those come from?They come from your past, they come from the environment around you, and that's a war paradigm, okay?So, the conscious thing to do is actually talk about this and agree toHow are you relating with each other?How are -what's unique to you and your partner?What is unique to your dynamic?So, 2 questions I wanna leave you with.So, the first reflection question I have for you is, what are your needs and your preferences around socializing without each other?And it actually could be interesting to start with, what are your expectations around socializing without each other?'Cause expectations come from your past or they come from the environment at large.Expectations are not conscious agreements, right?So, starting with expectations could be interesting, 'cause that is doing some shadow work.It's like, huh, well, what is the default that I've inherited?What unconscious expectations am I going into this with?And then from there, you can list your preferences individually, and then, like, what are your needs around that too?And then from there, once it's all laid out on the table, you can make this conscious agreement around, you know, what's the relationship culture you wanna have?How do you socialize as a couple, but particularly, how do you socialize without each other as well?second reflection question is, again, start with noticing if you expect your communities to overlap 100%, 'cause that's the unconscious paradigm.Unrealistic, and that enmeshment, it's it's not great for sexual chemistry.Like, you need some individuation.You need to maintain sovereignty in relationship.So, assuming that you're not falling into the unconscious default, what percentage do you want your communities to overlap?Make it a conscious choice.Doesn't matter what you choose.I'm not saying, like, 80% is the conscious way.No, I don't feel attached to what you choose.But the point is to make it conscious, to make a choice, and to come to an agreement around that choice.So, for different couples, it's gonna be a different number, because people are unique and they cannot be commodified.Relationships cannot be commodified.So, choose for yourselves.How much do you want your communities to overlap?That's all I've got for you today.I hope you enjoyed this episode.Let me know in the comments, which part of this are you already doing and which part of this do you wanna be doing more of?Like, for me, if I could be living in village, I would be living in village.But, you know, we'll get there.We'll get there.If you're resonating with these concepts, you might be interested in my signature course, The Conscious Couple.It's a 4month course designed to help you implement these concepts, maintain sovereignty in relationship, and make sure that your bond continues growing and deepening over time, rather than very s- like, slowly and unconsciously drifting into the norm, which inevitably leads to disconnection.You can learn more about that on my website, consciousrelating.org.If you join the wait list, you could save 100, so you wanna check that out.And if you're curious about that and wanna make sure it's right fit for you, I do have a taster coming up in May.It's a 4week course called Love Without Losing Yourself.It's all about maintaining sovereignty in your relationship so you can continue nourishing your relationship over time.Just because you got married or made a lifelong commitment doesn't mean that's gonna carry you to the lifelong relationship, right?Like, you wanna do some proactive shadow work to make sure you don't start drifting away from each other, falling into those unconscious norms.So, this is really gonna help you do that in a much smaller commitment.Again, you can learn more about that on my website, consciousrelating.org, and there's also a link in the description below.And I also do offer couple sessions, so if you're looking for more personalized support, you can also check that out on my website, consciousrelating.org.Thanks for being here.Peace be with you.